Poetry by
Gregory McIntyre

LinkedIn is for chumps, I found a way
To make an impression that can’t be beat.
I guarantee you, on the day,
You’ll land that job, now take a seat.

Listen to my simple plan.
You’re lucky to hear it for free.
I should be charging at least five bucks.
Okay maybe two bucks fifty.

Get mod podge and draw a prawn,
Or a claw shrimp at least,
Upon your curriculum vitae.
Or maybe some other majestic beast.

Now a common problem at this point:
It’s hard to see the white on white.
Ah but wet on dry stands out,
If you tilt it under a light!

Quickly take a handful of glitter,
And apply it liberally.
Tap the excess into a bin.
Behold! What do you see?

Not one cold hearted sariman
With a face like hardened plaster
Could not respect a glitterprawn.
You are the glitterprawn master.